We got it wrong. But Jesus figured it out.
The words that changed everything for our son.
We got pregnant in Bible college.
Yep. Barely 3 months dating, planning a wedding - hoping we could tie the knot and leave before anyone would know...
While everyone else was preparing for ministry, we were hiding. Sitting in the back row. Wondering if God was disappointed. Wondering if we'd ruined everything. Messed up His plan for our lives.
But our biggest fear wasn't about us.
It was about our son.
How do we help Jaden grow up without feeling like a mistake?
Would he believe he wasn't wanted? Would he think he was something that happened *to* us — rather than someone we chose?
We had dreams — years of dating, a perfect wedding, starting our careers, then having a child when we were ready. Reality was different.
And kids sense these things. Even if identity isn't spoken, it's felt.
We watched it play out.
Jaden was six when he walked up to a stranger in a restaurant — a woman with an injured hand — and said: *"God told me He's going to heal your hand. Can I pray for you?"*
He had this boldness. This sense that God was near and good.
But he also struggled. Despite being handsome, tall, strong, smart, and creative — he always felt different. Like he didn't quite fit. And that feeling led to some hard years.
We got more intentional. We talked about identity through prayer and conversation. We made mistakes. We didn't do it perfectly.
But even our imperfect attempts at speaking identity helped him find his footing.
Then we understood something we'd missed.
You know that moment?
Your kid has been *rotten* all day. Tantrums. Defiance. Testing every limit. You're exhausted and frustrated and counting the minutes until bedtime.
And then you watch them sleep.
And you realize — you would die for them. Right now. Without hesitation.
All that behavior from the day? It doesn't change how you see them. Not even a little.
That's how God sees us.
Not tolerating us. Not enduring us until we get our act together. Actually *delighting* in us — the way you delight in your child when they're finally asleep and you remember why you'd do anything for them.
That's the Father Jesus reveals.
And that's when it clicked for us.
Jaden wasn't a mistake. He was already loved. Already wanted. Already His.
We didn't have to manufacture that. We just had to tell him what was already true.
This past New Year's Eve, we went around the table.
"What's one thing you realized this year?"
When it got to Jaden, he said one word:
Jesus.
Then he explained:
"I don't know about everything else. I don't know about church and all of that. But I know Jesus. Him — the person, not the concept. Him. And He knows me. And He loves me. I can't speak to anything else, but I know that without a shadow of a doubt."
That's it. That's the whole thing.
You want your kids to be happy. Healthy. Successful. To have good things in life.
But even if they had all of that — some people do — you would lay down your life to hear your child say what Jaden said.
Jesus loves me, this I know. Because He told me so. And I love Him back.
That's why Already Loved exists.
Not to make your kid religious. Not to fill their head with concepts.
But to help them know — really know — that they are loved by Someone who will never leave. And to love Him back.
Two questions. One answer.
Every person — age 3 to 93 — is trying to answer the same two questions:
Who is God?
Is He safe? Is He good? Does He like me?
Who am I?
Am I loved? Do I belong? Am I enough?
How you answer the first shapes how you answer the second.
If God is angry → I must be bad.
If God is distant → I must not matter.
But if God is good, present, and delighted in me — the way you're delighted in your sleeping child after a hard day...
Then I am loved. I belong. I am already enough.
The answer to both questions is Jesus. He didn't come to give us information about God. He came to *show* us the Father.
That's the God we want your child to know.
You're doing a great job. And God is with you.
You don't need a better parenting strategy. You don't need more guilt.
You just need the words — and ten minutes tonight.
We wrote those words for you.
10 Foundations every child needs to hear — truths that will support the life they're going to live. Your child's name and photo on every page. A book that installs "I'm already loved" — one bedtime at a time.
Identity Now.
Most kids learn to earn love. Yours will know they already have it.
Founders
The heart behind Already Loved. A mom who wishes she'd had this book when her kids were little — and a dad who created it so you can.
Aimee — Founder & Brand Voice
Batsirai — Co-Founder & Theological Architect