Here's a question: When you plant an apple seed, what grows? An apple tree. Not because the seed worked hard. Not because it performed well. Not because it 'behaved' correctly. Simply because of its origin.
The Science of Identity
Modern neuroscience confirms what Scripture has always taught: children internalize their sense of self primarily from their relational connections, not their achievements. The brain's attachment system is designed to receive identity, not manufacture it.
When a child hears 'I'm so proud of you' after a success, they learn: 'I'm valuable when I succeed.' But when they hear 'I love watching you try things—win or lose!' they learn: 'I'm valuable because I exist.'
How to Communicate This (Ages 3-6)
Young children think in concrete terms. Abstract theology won't land. But a story will:
- The Mirror Story: 'You know how you look like Mommy and Daddy? That's not an accident. God put His image—His love, His creativity, His kindness—inside of you before you were even born.'
- The Name Story: 'Do you know what your name means? You were named before you did anything. Your name says who you ARE, not what you DO.'
- The Tree Story: 'An apple seed doesn't become an apple tree by trying hard. It just grows into what it already is. You're growing into who God already made you to be.'