We often feel like once we've told our kids something, they should 'get it.' But the brain doesn't work that way—especially a developing one.
30 Times to Form a Habit
Research shows it takes approximately 30 repetitions for a neural pathway to become automatic. That means your child needs to hear 'You are loved' not once, not ten times, but dozens and dozens of times before it moves from information to identity.
Ritual Creates Belief
There's a reason liturgy has been central to faith communities for millennia. Repetition creates ruts in the road. And when stress comes, we default to those ruts.
If your child's mental ruts are filled with 'You're loved. You belong. You're enough,' that's where they'll go when the world tells them otherwise.
Practical Tips
- Use the same words. Variation is overrated. Kids thrive on predictability.
- Tie it to a ritual. Bath time, bedtime, car rides—anchor your affirmations to daily rhythms.
- Trust the slow work. You won't see immediate results. But 10 years from now, you'll see the foundation you're laying.